I heard we made out
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
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