just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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