I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
