Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
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