yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
