So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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