Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I just forgot I was standing up.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
