So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
your like the ambassador to my penis.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
