wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
