so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
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Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
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Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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