the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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