I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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