just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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