Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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