it wasn't lemon gatorade
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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