would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize