you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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