How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
