i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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