It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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