Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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