oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
