It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize