Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
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