well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
