those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
