and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
