My brain says no but my pants say off.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
