I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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