guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
