Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
