im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
