I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
