Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
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