I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
