The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I still have a little drunk in my system
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
