Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
