That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize