Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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