So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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