i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
