If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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