I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
