like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
