Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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