what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
