we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
