I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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