thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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