just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
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