Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
