Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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