So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
