Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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