Me too!
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
