LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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