I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Four minutes until I can fart!
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
