Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Randomize
