You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
dude. I can hear the air.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
