I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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