i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
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I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
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I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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