i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
There was a lot of him and a little penis
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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