Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
